Milestone birthdays can mean different things to people. I have one coming up and I realised that the reason I’ve been nervous about turning 50, is because I’m hoping that I haven’t let the ‘young’ me down.
The life I thought I’d have
When I was younger, I had dreams – the house, the kids, the husband, the fantastic job / career, pets, I spent hours drawing my dream wedding dress. I thought I’d have it all. And for so many reasons, choices and decisions that I made, that led to other choices and decisions, that hasn’t been my path.
And as 50 is approaching (just over 2 weeks to go!) most of that won’t happen, or at least it may not and if it does, it won’t be in the way I htought it would when I was younger.
What I’ve come to realise
And I’ve come to realise that that’s OK. I’ve had a good life. I’ve done some incredible things, been to amazing places, have people in my life for whom I feel so blessed to know, and I’m proud of who I am. On the flip side, I’ve also experienced things I wouldn’t wish on anyone and I’ve come out the other side stronger and more resilient than I ever give myself credit for. I think the young me would be really proud of who I’ve become, so the impending birthday isn’t quite so scary.
Embracing the next decade
And as I start to embrace the next decade of my life (it’s coming, whether I want it to or not!), it’s already in a much better place than it was when I started my outgoing decade. I’m both the same person and not. My tolerance levels for nonsense have declined significantly and now I want to see what I’m truly capable of. I stll have another 20 years of working life ahead of me (if I want to pay off my mortgage and have money to live off when I retire – if I win the lottery or marry a millionaire, all bets are off and I stop working immediately!) and that’s a long time to do something that doesn’t make your heart sing.
Women in midlife want more
I’m not alone in wanting more. Women in midlife are increasingly taking the opportunity to take stock of their lives and ask similar questions – am I happy? Do I want to do this for the next 20 years? For some of them, the answer is a resounding yes. And that’s great. But for others, there’s a niggling feeling that maybe settling for another 20 years, well, it’s kind of soul-destroying, actually.
Why I trained as a life coach
That’s ultimately why I trained as a life coach – to help women find themselves. They’ve become buried under being a wife, mother, daughter, colleague, manager, employee… that they’ve forgotten who they are. There’s a lifetime of being a nurturer and putting everyone’s needs before their own, that they’ve lost track of what their needs are.
And then you throw in menopause – crazy hormones doing all sorts fo things to your body, and it’s no surprise that women not only want but need change.
My next step: training as a menopause coach
I’m embracing turning 50 by training as a menopause coach. I don’t have the knowledge right now to fully know and understand what’s happening to me and what I can do, so I’m changing that and I can bring this to my coaching practice to support my clients who also probably don’t understand their crazy hormones.
I’ve started a Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61588933001033 so please feel free to pop in and say hello. It still needs some love, which, I promise is coming. It’s a safe space for you to vent, share your good days, your bad ones, ask for support and connect with other women who are also going through this.
You’re not alone — and you don’t have to go through this alone
You’re not alone – it’s estimated that there are around 13 million women who are currently perimenopausal, or menopausal in the UK, which is equivalent to a third of the entire female population.
So please, don’t go through this alone. Follow my journey as I become a menopause coach, and I’ll follow and support yours, as you navigate this time of your life.